Well Worth the Wait

a Sonny & Brenda story

 

Chapter 8--NC 17

Brenda and Sonny laid snuggled together, each of their minds filled with questions. Brenda wondered if Sonny had heard what she said, and why he wasn't saying it back. Sonny wondered how to get himself out of this one. It wasn't that he didn't "love" Brenda; she meant everything to him. But he had no faith in love, and didn't want to ruin things by labeling what they had with that word. Finally, Brenda broke the silence. "Did you hear what I told you Sonny?" "I heard." "Aren't you going to say it back?" Sonny moved away from her and sat up, "Brenda, don't." Brenda sat up as well, holding the sheet against her chest. "Don't what? Oh, I guess you don't love me…figures." She fought back the tears. Sonny put his face in his hands and muttered, "you don't understand." Brenda pulled his hands away, "well make me understand!" Sonny turned to face her. "It's just a word Brenda. Just because I don't say it, that doesn't mean you don't mean everything to me." Brenda softened, "I do?" Sonny brushed her hair away from her face. "Yes. So let's not get caught up on words, OK?" Brenda sighed, "but it's important to me." Sonny got out of bed and yelled, "why?" "Because!" Brenda yelled back. "So what, if I tell you I love you and then walk out the door tomorrow and never come back…will that make you feel better?" "No, of course not! Why would you say that?" "Because that's what I know about love Brenda; people who say that turn around and kick you in the teeth!"

"Who left you Sonny? Was it a woman?" Sonny groaned and rubbed his hands over his face again, "don't make me do this." "Sonny please!" Brenda begged. Sonny sat back down on the bed. "It was my father, alright? He left when I was a kid. And it was my mother…she married a monster, and kicked me out when I was sixteen. That's what I know about love Brenda." Brenda was stunned. "I…had no idea. You said you understood about me and my father, but I didn't think." Sonny gave her a sad smile, "you still have no idea, believe me." "You…you said she married a monster, your mother I mean. What does that mean Sonny?" "You're a smart girl; you can figure it out." Brenda understood, and felt awful. "Oh Sonny, I'm so sorry." Sonny shook his head, "don't be. Don't feel sorry for me. I've worked long and hard to get past all that. And now, no one messes with me." "That's why you wear a gun, isn't it?" "Basically." Brenda let the sheet fall as she took him in her arms. "It's OK baby; I understand. Let me show you how love's supposed to be." Sonny groaned and kissed her, finding solace in her lips. He maneuvered them both until they were lying down again, and then he pulled Brenda on top of him. She giggled against his mouth, and then moaned as he reached down and caressed her ass. As their tongues tangled, Sonny reached in between her legs and stroked her. Brenda opened up for him, and Sonny guided the tip of his penis to her. "Oh shit wait," he exclaimed against her mouth. Brenda pulled her head back and looked into his eyes, "what's wrong?" "I need to grab another condom." "Oh, it's OK Sonny, I don't care." "You don't mean that," Sonny replied, and moved her off him. He got out of bed and retrieved the item in question. "Have you been tested?" Brenda asked. "Yes," Sonny replied, "but that's no guarantee of anything." "What do you mean?" Sonny's heart clenched as he thought of Stone, the boy that was like his brother who had died early that year from AIDS. "I'll tell you another time, OK?" "OK," Brenda replied, concerned over the sadness that filled his eyes. "Come here," she added, opening up her arms. Sonny gratefully fell into them, and took up where he'd left off. As he entered her and felt her yield to him, he thought, "I love you Brenda Barrett."

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